Do you like my story idea?

I say it's a nice rough draft, and it is very confusing. Remember, introduce everyone because all the names were a little difficult to remember. And don't say Eric's name and try not to just say Lara gagged Becca. That will lead to the mystery on who helped the killer. If you want you can say that they both get away or one of them get away for more of a dramatic ending or something.